Mood Mode - Destroyers

by Michael C Kelly, MA

All family life organizes itself around the most damaged person in the family. Freud said something along these lines many years ago. Today strong evidence supports this kind of claim in our organizations, especially when it comes to dealing with or having to compensate for Destroyers and Limiters

Destroyers create unstable workplaces and at times we find ourselves having to compensate for their behaviours. Their values orientation tends to be based on getting and taking virtues. Destroyers demonstrate little cerebral or emotional intelligence. Not understanding, or wanting to understand, creates frustration with them prompting a variety of destructive and embarrassing behaviours, such as:

  • being negatively dismissive
  • throwing hissy fits (tantrums and senseless rants)
  • slinging amateurish cheap shots

In the end, performance suffers, lives become stressed, cooperation fails and anxiety abounds.

Destroyers, it turns out, are reasonably easy to deal with - but require care. As I say in my courses, we never want to leave anyone worse off than we found them.


Remember, we are all Destroyers to some extent, some more so than others.

On how best to constructively deal with the chronic Destroyers in our lives and workplaces, contact

© 2011  Michael C Kelly